This is was my contribution for the #insideoutchallenge created by an Instagram makeup artist (@lilmoonchildd) in effort to create awareness on mental illness. The challenge is to recreate what your mental illness would look like to you inside on one half of your face, with the other being normal.
I struggle every day with depression and anxiety. Every moment of my every day is taken over by my mental illness. This causes me to not be able to do simple things that most people take for granted such as ordering a drink at a coffee shop, having a conversation with someone, going to a certain place, etc. I will literally wait outside a Starbucks, looking in the window, and walk in once a line of at least two people has formed to get in to take my order, as I need to read the menu for what I want and need time to prepare myself. Which reading it sounds really stupid and insane, but I physically and mentally cannot do it any other way.
My life is restricted because of this, and I miss out on so many opportunities because my anxiety forces me to not be able to. It feels like my brain and thoughts are in a prison, and I have no way of controlling them or getting out. I don’t find myself sharing this with many people because it is very difficult for those who have never dealt with any sort of related issues to comprehend what it’s like.
People usually say “just relax!” or “you’re too young to have anxiety!” which really hurts. We live in a society that conceives mental illness as something that is scary and wrong, therefore it is ignored and stigmatized.
I did some research to make myself sound smart, and found out that 1 in 4 people worldwide will have a mental or neurological disorder at some point in their lives. Currently, more than 40% of the world’s countries have no mental health policy, and over 30% have no mental health program. That’s really sad. I believe that it is so important to help educate our friends, family, peers, the general public and ourselves on the basics of mental health. Being mindful on how to treat someone dealing with mental issues and knowing what it is can make a much bigger positive impact on someone than you would think.